Heavenly Showers

It all started so innocently.......

A young couple buying a house with two bathrooms.  The story would end there if this was a normal couple but, for this couple, it's just the beginning.

It started out with the wife wanting to remodel both bathrooms.  "We can do one with a garden theme and the other with a Roman theme", she would say to her husband, who would then disagree with her taste in decor as vehemently as he disagreed with placing the bed away from the window.  The disagreement continued for months until one day, one of them, they later forgot who came up with the idea, they decided to split the bathrooms between the two.  The husband would pick a bathroom and remodel to his taste and the wife would do the same for the second bathroom.  His theme was.....well there was no theme.  Her theme was a Romantic Roman Garden.  You would think the story ends here......I assure you, it is only the beginning.

As the wife enjoyed a shower made in heaven, due to her extensive research in shower heads and ancient Chinese Zen methods used in remodeling, the husband enjoyed a mediocre shower with a $9.99 shower head.  The wife soon realized that her bathroom was always clean and smelling fresh.   While the husband, sad as it was, didn't spend enough time cleaning his bathroom, it didn't quite meet the standards of cleanliness and freshness as the other bathroom enjoyed by the wife.               

Ten years went by and the wife continued to keep it a secret, always having to explain why she showered twice a day and why she spent so much time in the shower.  But, this never even began to slow her down, she enjoyed that bathroom like no other.  She thought she would be in shower heaven for ever......UNTIL.....


One day, the unexpected happened.  His shower was out of commission.  Fearing he would use hers and therefore unlock the secret, she quickly thought of ways to block him from using it.  "Hunny, this would be a good time for you to start a gym membership, with your bathroom out and all.  You can work out your big muscles and shower before you come home".  She even resorted to the mom factor, did I say she was desperate?,  "hunny, why don't you visit your mom for the next few days, she must be so lonely.  And while you're there, it might be a good idea for you to shower there, you know, to save time".  He shot down her ideas faster than she could think of new ones.  The day finally came, he went in her shower.

His experience with the heavenly showers was exquisite and superior.  He felt like a king.  It blew his mind away instantly.   The perfect speed of warm water running down his hair seemed to massage his every muscle as it trickled down his legs and onto his feet.  The hot steam felt rejuvenating as it made it's way through his lips cleaning every single organ inside.  He got the feeling he could stay there for ever.  When he came out, two hours later, he felt refreshed and energized like a clean twelve year old boy.  Needless to say, he was never going back to his old dumpy little shower.

So now, the poor wife needs a wrench to turn on the water as his strong hands close the water valves too tight for her little hands.  She now has to clean it several times a week, as there are traces of dirt everywhere.  She must now live with an air freshener and streaky glass and a large pair of house slippers.

Some stories do have a sad ending, and sadly, this is one of them.  She had been determined to keep it a secret for as long as she lived.  She had numerous visions of herself at her deathbed, that would happen fourty, fifty, sixty years later, whispering her last words just before she would die, "hunny, I love you very much, you know that, right? I have always loved you, but, forgive me for not telling you sooner....go, waste no time, my love.........take......a.......shower....".